Emotions - Can we trust them?
By Dick Farenhorst

There are various ways of knowing. When my son had cancer, my wife had an intuitive way, as only a mother can, of knowing that in deed there was something wrong with her baby, even when a series of doctors and specialists reassured us that nothing was. There is an emotional intuitive way of knowing that a mother has with a child; that a lover has with a partner, that is distinctive from other ways of knowing. There is also an aesthetic way of being able to know a painting or work of art. There is also a rational, intellectual way of knowing. Neither of them are preeminent, though our culture doesn't think so. Indeed, it's been a long standing belief that the children that will be successful later in life are those that ere intellectually very bright. More recently research on "emotional intelligence" compiles an arresting array of evidence which shows that emotional IQ, that is for example, the ability to empathize, to be motivated and to persist in the face of frustrations, the ability to regulate one's moods are much more predictive of later success in life, for children than intellectual intelligence.

Without a deep recognition of the role of emotions, men are much less appreciative of what it takes to make a relationship survive in marriage. Women come in to marriage much more groomed for the role of an emotional manager than men do.

In the workplace when bosses are autocratic, lose their temper the workplace environment suffers and production decreases. In contrast, where there is teamwork, cooperation, listening, the freedom to speak one's mind, in short, the rudiments of social intelligence - there, workplace environments flourish.

Physically, people who experience chronic anxiety, long periods of sadness, pessimism, incessant hostility, are found to have double the risk of disease including asthma, headaches, ulcers and heart disease. Unresolved feelings, especially those of the big three; anger; anxiety and depression, suggest a medical significance far beyond what they've seen in the past.

"Our feelings are meant to be given full expression an be lived out intensely, fully within God's created norms and Biblical directives."

James Dobson, a Christian, writes about emotions and views them suspiciously, especially romantic love and anger, perceiving our emotions as not trustworthy and suggesting an emphasis on controlling or managing them subjecting them to Biblical guidelines. Daniel Goldman, a non-Christian, espousing emotional intelligence, says the Ten Commandments can be seen as ways of subduing or harnessing our emotional life Historically, Christians, especially those of my Calvinist background, that is, more "Word", than "Spirit" Christians, have not really had a place for emotions in the Christian walk. So parents admonished children with "your feelings will change", "you'll get over it" and various other messages that encouraged children to ignore or suppress feelings.

So what place do our emotions have how do we look at them? A truly authentic Christian perspective, I suggest, is one that seeks to celebrate and live out intensely our feelings - this wonderful created emotional part of who we are as people. How could bonding in relationships ever take place without fully expressed feelings of love, of care, of joy. How could connectedness and friendships and a community exist without fully experiencing feelings of justice, of compassion. God's created norms for our human functioning are such that, to not give proper place to our feelings, is to do so at a cost - physically, psychologically, financially and in relationships.

Indeed I don't think it's too strong a statement to make that we will be inhibited or constrained in truly expressing love to God and others if we don't give proper expression to our feelings. Given this perspective, our emotions neither need to be elevated to something. Indeed sometimes to be a Christian may mean it costs us emotionally. Nevertheless, our feelings are meant to be given full expression and be lived out intensely, fully within God's created norms and Biblical directives. Emotions are not any more than intellectual intelligence within themselves intrinsically moral or immoral, trustworthy or not but how they are expressed and lived out is what is salient. To do so fully allows us to express completely the fruits of the spirit, i.e. love, joy, kindness, gentleness and peace (Galations 5:22)

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