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CARING FOR OTHERS
By Arlene VanHove

Do you generally put other people's needs ahead of your own?
Do you do things for others without asking them?
Do you prefer taking care of others and have a hard time when others care for you?
Do you feel worthy only when others need you?
Did you answer yes to most of these questions?

Our Christian faith propels us to care for others. It is a mandate Christ has given us. But not all caring is good caring.

How we respond to those in need will tell us how comfortable we are with those who suffer emotional or physical pain. Do we tend to mother them? Do we smother them?Do we think we need to fix them? Do we invade their space?

Or on the other hand, are we detached from them? Do we keep ourselves aloof? Are we indifferent to their needs? Do we ignore them?

What happens to us when others are needy? Mothering, smothering, and fixing are about caretaking. Caretaking is about "taking over".

Detaching, aloofness and indifference, are about apathy. Apathy is about disconnecting. Both are opposite ends on the continuum and unhealthy ways of responding to those in need.

Caring for others most often has to do with empowering them. Empowering them to express and understand themselves. Empowering them to make their own choices-even though we may not always agree. Empowering them to be responsible for themselves. It is about respecting their boundaries and their uniqueness. It is about accepting their reality and acknowledging their pain. And finally, it is about learning together how to trust a God whose way is full of mystery yet at the same time is the hope of the world