To Grieve Is To Be Emotionally Intelligent

"Tears dissolve the wall of illusion between who we pretend to be and who we really are." R.R.

Anyone who values life had to be shocked by what occurred on September 11th in New York, Washington and Pennsylvania. No matter what the issues are-the spilling of innocent blood is always disturbing.

In previous columns I wrote about the importance of emotional intelligence-the ability to express feelings appropriately, interact emphatically and use information about one's feelings and the feeling of others to make healthy choices in life. Now we may want to ask ourselves-is emotional intelligence relevant to the events of September the 11th? And if so, what does that look like?

Modern media has made our world a global village and shocking events like those of September 11th affect us all. Most of us experienced feelings of horror, loss, sadness, confusion, distrust, helplessness and anger. Some of us seethed with rage and vengeance! So, it is important is to be aware of the range of emotions we are experiencing but not act impulsively on them.

To process these emotions we need to talk about the events taking place. Many of us have done so with family members, friends and co-workers. All that is good for us. Through our talking we process our feelings and become aware of how we think about these atrocities as time goes on.

Part of being emotionally intelligent is being able to interact emphatically with others. Most of us have shed tears at the loss of six thousand lives. Several well known personalities openly grieved on television. Who can forget the teary eyes of president George W. Bush, journalist Dan Rather and late show entertainer Dave Letterman? And now in light of NATO'S retaliation how many more tears will be shed for the innocent victims in Afghanistan?

The depth and time-length of the feelings we experience has to do with how close we were to the people who have lost their lives. The collective sorrow we are experiencing at a distance tends to unsettle us for a while. Processing our feelings and thoughts well will allow us to act in healthy ways through prayer, donations or involvement in shipping aid to meet the needs of those affected. All of this helps us work through the horror of September 11th and trust a God who has promised to walk with us in time of sorrow and uncertainty.

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